Hello. My name is Brooke Christian. And I’m a recovering self hater.
I’ve been in recovery for about 3 years and I’ve decided to share my story in the hopes that it can help other self haters. Here we go.……
Recently I had to convince a completely gorgeous woman that she was, in fact, completely gorgeous. Long bouncy hair. Gorgeous smile. Twinkling eyes. Wry sense of humor. Amazing legs. And even after profuse affirmations, she still wasn’t buying what I was selling.
It made me so frustrated that we are a society of gorgeous, beautiful, sexy women who cannot even look at ourselves in the mirror. WTF?!?!?
It made me so frustrated that no matter how loud I shout it or how many times I share it, women still don’t believe me when I show them – not just tell them – how beautiful and sexy they are. WTF?!?!
It made me so frustrated because the truth is I don’t believe it for myself either.
Come in close, mamas, it’s confession time. Closer. Because this is a vulnerable moment here. Fact: I’ve spent nearly my entire life hating myself. There is not a time in my childhood nor my adolescence nor my young adulthood when I didn’t hurl insults at myself: you’re fat, you’re ugly with those glasses, you’re too extroverted, you’re too introverted, your face is too round, your belly will never be flat. Hate piled upon hate piled upon more hate.
Mamas, I know what it feels like to look in the mirror and cry. Loves, I know what it feels like to wear sweatpants because you can’t bear to have your jeans feel tight. Friends, I know what it feels like to tell yourself all the bad things and never counteract it with the good things.
I spent so many years reading myself a fairy tale called, The Woman Who Isn’t Enough, that I started to believe my own self created narrative more than anything or anyone else. Versions abound but the bestselling Self Hate titles are I’ll Never Be Thin Enough, I’ll Never Be Pretty Enough and my personal favorite, I’ll Never be Good Enough. Any of these sound familiar, loves? Yeah, thought so.
These stories may be bestsellers but they are incredibly dangerous. Their negativity gets tattooed on our brains and almost nothing, I mean NOTHING, can make us believe differently.
Did ya see which word I picked up there? “BELIEVE.” Not “THINK.” Believe. We can “think” all we want. Our rational minds know we are objectively nice looking with decent bodies and pretty good attributes. But if we don’t BELIEVE we are those things, if we don’t BELIEVE we are beautiful and gorgeous and sexy, then we can never truly believe it when someone else says so. Not our husbands or our boyfriends or our loved ones or the public. There is no voice stronger in our head than our own.
Which means that I’m fighting an uphill battle every time I try to show other women how beautiful and unique and vibrant and sensual and sexy the world sees them. If they don’t BELIEVE it themselves, ain’t no matter what I say. Because the sad truth is, even for me “champion of women everywhere,” our own manufactured lies are what we believe to be true. As Julia Roberts said in Pretty Woman, “the hard stuff is easier to believe.” And that goes for me too.
Is it possible to throw out our crappy stories of self hate and swap it for a loving tale of self worth and confidence? God I hope so! That’s my mission with Flirty Girl. To get you to rewrite your storybook and fill it with page after beautiful page of how amazing you are. And to make you promise to read it to yourself every night. Time for a new narrative, don’t you think? One that we would gladly read to our daughters for their bedtime stories.
In that spirit, welcome to Story Writing 101, sexy mamas. I’m Brooke Christian, recovering self hater, and I’ll be your teacher for this journey…