Fact: our brains are our biggest sex organ. Not our vaginas or his penis. Nope, our brains. Sure, we can have sex without using our brains (any of my drunken escapades from 1999-2003 will attest to that) but we can’t have really good, dare I say GREAT, sex unless we use our brains.
And the best way experts say we can give our biggest sex organ a work out? Fantasize. Yup, good old, tried-and-true fantasizing. Ian Kerner, sex counselor and author of the books She Comes First and my personal favorite, Passionista, says, ”It’s great to fantasize. Think of your imagination as your own private playground, and feel free to bring whoever you want along on an X-rated drama of your own creation.” My own private, authority-sanctioned, X-rated playground? Yes, please!
The truth is, I fantasize like crazy. There is not a day or night that goes by when I’m not thinking about how I want to do it or who I want to do it with. And since it’s no secret that in recent years I’ve gone from city girl to country girl, it should come as no surprise that my current fantasy involves a hot southern boy working on his jacked-up pick-up truck. Crazy, I know, but it’s what gets my mind running and my pulse racing.
Here’s what I’m talking about…..Lord. Have. Mercy.
By the way, the best part about writing this post was the research on finding the best guy to show you. Tough job but I had to do it…
Does Lumberjack know I look at pics like this? Yup. Does he mind? Nope. And here’s why: these guys are part of my foreplay and he knows it. One look at guys like this and I’m ready to attack Lumberjack as soon as the kids are asleep. And that’s something Lumberjack will support until the proverbial cows come home.
You probably already know what kind of guy turns you on. Is it a certain rock star? The trainer at the gym? The shirtless lifeguard? (It is summer, after all.) Whoever it is, keep thinking about him morning, noon and night. Because when you’re fantasizing, you’re working out your biggest sex organ (no kegels required!) and you’re gearing up for some hot as hell shags with your partner.
Here are the top 5 most common female fantasies:
Sex with a stranger. While sex with your partner can be totally hot, it’s hard to replicate the intensity of a new guy. How would he kiss? What would he feel like? Fantasizing about someone new is a way of recalling the rush of newness and the anticipation of the unknown.
Being dominant in bed. While it may seem counterintuitive for a woman to want to take charge when what they’re really craving is the feeling of being desired, the dominatrix scenario actually revolves around the man worshipping the woman’s body, and begging her for attention.
Exhibitionism. In this scenario, you not only get to enjoy sex with your partner, but you also get to enjoy knowing that someone else (or several someones?) is feeling aroused by watching you in action.
Being sexually ravaged. Every woman I know who’s been in a long-term relationship has one singular definition of what it means to have hot sex: PUSH HER UP AGAINST A WALL AND TAKE HER. The thought of a guy bursting with desire for you is inarguably hot. Man, I’m hot just thinking about this actually.
Enjoying a threesome. Being worshipped and adored by two different men — or a man and a woman, I don’t judge — can be twice as nice.
So figure out which of these scenarios turns you on the most. And then put away the guilt and put on your thinking cap. Pick your number and start your story. And if your mate isn’t going to be cool with the idea of you thinking about someone else, then my advice is what he doesn’t know won’t hurt him…especially if he’s getting laid more!