It’s July and that means it’s getaway month. The city is empty. The beaches are packed. I’m about to pack up my brood and head to the beach for 2 weeks so I guess my mind is focused on vacation right now. Which got me thinking that this is probably the perfect time to talk about vacation sex.
I love vacation sex (shocker). In fact, I always plan a romp-a-thon just-us trip at least 1x a year (2x if the grandparents are feeling particularly generous with their time). It is THE best way for him and I to connect – physically, mentally and emotionally. And when you’re connecting on every level like that, the sex is just….better.
But vacation sex isn’t just better, it’s also hotter. Why?
The bed. It’s probably soft and big and the sheets get changed every day which means you can get them as dirty as you want the night before! Plus, doing it on a big beautifully-made bed just feels sexier.
The bathroom. God willing you’re looking at a huge tub and a shower with a detachable shower head. Do I really need to tell you what to do with that combo? Email me if you need specifics…
The anonymity: No one knows you. Your neighbors don’t know you so scream as loud as you like. The chambermaids don’t know you so get as nasty as you like. And the staff doesn’t know you so you and your partner can pretend to be anything you like. Want to pretend to be strangers who meet at the hotel bar? Go for it. John the bartender doesn’t care because he doesn’t know you. Hotels just scream for role play and sometimes it’s really hot and liberating to either be someone else or to not give a crap about what other people think.
The timetable: You’re on vacation. You’re sleeping in. You’re (hopefully!) having morning sex. You’re not racing out the door to make a train or a meeting. You can indulge each other and take your time exploring what turns you on, something we don’t often get to do in our 9-5 lives.
The reconnection: No surprise that women link sex with emotional intimacy. It’s just how we’re wired. And when you’re on vacation and having fun with your partner, you’re connecting with each other again. And that connection is what helps make sex rock.
I also always approach a couples trip with a bit of an agenda. Here’s my strategy:
I bring LOTS of lingerie (no surprise there) and always plan for little modeling shows throughout the trip. Given my propensity for pre-dinner sex, this usually involves a fashion show as I’m getting out of my bathing suit but before I’ve showered (see, and then you can get all cleaned up afterwards…it’s really a perfect vacation plan…).
This was my lingerie stash from our last getaway in April. And each one got airtime.
I make a pact with Lumberjack to try something new in bed. It doesn’t always work out (see my earlier post about anal…#massivefail) but it always creates a sense of excitement and anticipation that’s hard to replicate.
I make him get ready for dinner first and go down to the bar first. Why? Because it’s sexier when he doesn’t know what you’re going to wear or how you’re going to look. And there’s something luxurious about being able to get ready alone…you have the time to relax and really plan how you look…and when you put in that kind of effort, you feel good about yourself and that confidence is sexy as hell. Plus there’s nothing sexier than walking into a crowded bar, spotting your partner and watching his face delight in seeing you walk toward him. It’s hot as hell and sets up the night for lots more fun.
I know, a sex-a-thon vacation with just you and your partner is awesome but not always doable. And real life means vacations with kids and extended families tagging along (I get it, I’m about to hit both of these). And by the way, these are called trips….not “vacations.” So what then?
Have sex the night before you leave: If you’re traveling with your kids then there’s a pretty solid chance you’re not doing it at all on your trip (aka all my family trips when my kids were under 2). So do it before you leave – it will make him feel wanted and somewhat sated in case there’s no action for the rest of the trip.
Flirt with him: Even if you’re spending every minute with another family or your kids or his family and have zero alone time, keep the flirtiness happening. Text each other dirty (or sweet) notes. Pinch his butt. Tell him he looks hot. Take a racy selfie in the bathroom and send it his way. Let each other know that even though the circumstances may not call for it, you’re still thinking about screwing him. It helps, trust me.
My trip will probably have a little bit of all of this happening. But this I know for sure: I’ll be looking for all those little hidden moments because it’s not a vacation without some damn hot sex. Happy travels!