Admission time: I love porn. I absolutely, unabashedly love it. It’s hot, it’s naughty, it turns me on and it still feels like something I shouldn’t really do which makes me want to do it even more. “The porn post,” as I’ve been calling it to friends, has been in the works since the day I conceived of Sexy As A Mother (formerly called Flirty Girl). I knew I wanted to write about it from the very beginning…mainly because it still feels taboo (especially for women, which is idiotic) and because it’s one of the topics I get asked about most often.
So why has it taken me so long to get it out there? Because frankly, I wanted to give you the best information possible and that required LOTS of viewing hours on my part. Tough job but I was happy to do it.
Porn gets a horrendous rap. Sure, lots of it is misogynistic and full of useless jackhammering. But by the same token, lots of it is just plain great. The two biggest changes in porn in the last few years has been the democratization of it – so much of it is free that the idea of paying for porn is almost archaic at this point – and that tons and tons of it shows real-life people. If you’re interested in fake moaning and good lighting, staged porn is definitely still available.
But what’s really interesting (and incredibly erotic, if well chosen) is watching amateur porn…real people, getting busy in their messy bedrooms or bathrooms and being genuinely turned on. It’s hot. It’s free. SIGN ME UP.
Interestingly, when I talk about porn with other women, two things always come up.
The first: most women get turned on by girl-on-girl action. No surprise. Women are beautiful and it’s hot as hell to watch. If this sounds like you, you are not alone…FFM threesomes (female, female, male for the uninitiated) is the most commonly searched and viewed porn by women. If you’ve never watched two women go at it, do it and I dare you not to beg for a good lay as soon as you close the laptop.
The second: yes porn is hot but how does it fit into my sex life? Am I watching it with my guy? Am I watching it alone? All great questions and all I can do is tell you what works for me. I personally don’t like watching porn with Lumberjack. It feels like we are watching an audition tape or something. I prefer to watch porn alone as my own personal foreplay. If I’m getting ready to do a little selfie shoot for him, I’ll watch some porn first to get sexed up. If I’m going to surprise him after the kids go to bed and come downstairs ready to go, I’ll watch porn five minutes before and then won’t even need my beloved lube! But if you and your guy love watching it together, by all means do what works. It’s just a matter of figuring out a space in your sexual repertoire for porn, just like you figure out a space for lingerie or a sex toy.
So now on to the good stuff…what to watch and where to find it (yes, I included links…yes, you should start looking right now):
The Big Box Stores:
Porn Hub – The amazon.com of porn. Everything your could possibly want is here. Every predilection. Every desire. There’s professional porn and amateur porn. If you don’t get turned on by something here, you searched wrong. Warning: when you open up the homepage, it can be a little overwhelming (read: off-putting)…work past the ick factor and start searching for what you love….threesomes, amateur, married couple, whatever.
Xvideos – Porn Hub’s friendly competitor. I prefer Xvideo but I think it’s just a personal thing. They’re both free, easy to use and have so much inventory, your mind will never be able to process it all. Same warning as above applies.
For the Artfully Minded:
Hysterical Literature – I was really skeptical when I first started watching this but it was actually really hot and extremely intriguing. A performance artist wondered what would happen when real women were asked to read from famous works of literature while being vibrated under a table. The result is hauntingly sexy…real women, having real orgasms while calmly sitting at a table reading a book. It’s remarkable. And surprisingly hot.
Sounds of Pleasure – Have you ever watched porn on mute? It’s not hot. At all. The moans and groans are key to getting turned on. This simple Tumblr page is just that: the sounds of sex. It might seem weird but it’s actually incredibly intimate, much more so than watching bodies bumping. While I don’t like watching porn with Lumberjack, it turns out we like listening to porn. Try it. You might be surprised by how erotic two strangers moaning can be.
Orgasmic Tips for Girls – This is a destination blog all about sex, masturbation, orgasms, relationships and loving yourself. While that alone is enough to get me to watch, what makes this blog so special is that it’s curated by women. Translation? It’s inherently what you want to see and the result is kind of like sitting around with girlfriends, talking about sex, asking questions you can’t ask anywhere else, and sharing the hottest stuff you’ve found.
Naughty Foreskin – To be honest, I have no idea how I stumbled onto this Danish guy’s blog but he has a massive following and people are obsessed with his penis. If you get turned on by cocks and all of their glory, this may be the site for you. Major warning!!! As the name implies, this lad is not circumcised. So if you’ve never seen an uncut guy, this might be a bit of a shock (I, for example, stared at the computer screen open mouthed with my head turned sideways, gaping at what is apparently a very common looking penis+foreskin combination…it was an education if nothing else and if I’m being totally honest, it sort of made me want to put one on my sexual bucket list but getting Lumberjack to agree probably ain’t happening). Something else to note on the foreskin front: it’s been said that foreskin is the best sex toy money can’t buy so if this site turns you on, you can add that little mental tease to the equation for an added bonus.
So there it is. The porn post. Maybe I’m the only one willing to raise my hand and say “I LOVE PORN!” but that’s ok. The only thing I care about is that you’re turning yourself on because that’s really what porn (or any other tool) is about, right? Turning yourself on so you can turn on the rest of what’s happening in your life. I do it via porn and other accessories. Maybe you do it another way. The only thing that matters is that we’re getting hot and bothered. And loving every minute of it. XOXO