I can’t believe I’m writing this but Thanksgiving is tomorrow. TOMORROW! While I have no idea how that happened, I do know that the holiday season is upon us with all of it’s stress, food, and general chaos. And I know something else too: the holiday season is most definitely NOT a sexy time of year.
Despite what commercials and women’s magazines and the general inundation of sappy romantic images tell us, it’s basically six weeks of food comas, hangovers, late nights, weird sleeping arrangements and waking up on January 2nd realizing your pants no longer fit. There is absolutely nothing sexy about any of that.
And not to keep raining on your Macy’s Day Parade but here’s the worst part: in the midst of all this bacchanalia, we tend to put sex and intimacy on the back burner. Date nights take a back seat to holiday parties. Sex becomes tricky or non-existent thanks to strange sleeping scenarios or a house full of guests. And it’s hard to feel turned on when you’re weighed down with five extra pounds, the stress of buying gifts, going to events and just trying to survive the holiday madness.
It’s understandable and I’m as guilty of it as the next person. One year, I became so consumed with having the most “magical” holiday season ever that I basically put Lumberjack on the bottom of my to-do list from Thanksgiving until New Years. But instead of magical memories, I got six weeks of fights, bitterness and general marital dissatisfaction. By the time New Years hit, Lumberjack and I were pretty far apart physically (and worse, emotionally) and I vowed to never let that happen again.
So how do you survive the holidays and still make it feel like you’re dating your husband? Lots of tiny, little gestures that add up to a more intimate and sexy season.
Embrace the Quickie: Packed schedules and full houses demand you to fit in a shag whenever -and wherever- you can. Think bathrooms, basements, cars. I used to groan about run-upstairs quickies but once I realized they were naughty and kind of forbidden, I started to see them as super sexy. You might not have time to orgasm but you will have time to connect and that’s what you’re going for here. Lock the doors, tune out the noise and go for it.
Sext like You’re Miles Apart: When our house fills up and everyone’s cooking and running around, Lumberjack and I still sext like crazy. He might be right across the living room from me but I’m still sending him a hot little note or a sultry pic whenever I can. It keeps us interested and linked and it reminds us that we still have the hots for each other. Many a holiday has been spent where Lumberjack and I have been sexting from separate bedrooms as we navigate tricky sleeping arrangements. But the beauty of that is that we both feel wanted and hot, even when the circumstances don’t allow us to act on those feelings. It’s easy, it’s effective, it’s a collect call to your libido. If you do nothing else on this list, do this.
Pinch, Slap and Wink: The idea here is to take the sexting offline and flirt the old fashioned way. That means stick out your tush for a pinch when he walks by, wink when you catch his eye across the table, slap his butt when he’s bending down to pick up the firewood. It sounds overly simple but these little moments can create big payoffs in feeling desired, aroused and wanted over a really crazy couple of weeks. Physical flirting works for a reason. Try it.
Share a Secret: Kids aren’t the only ones who get to play with toys this holiday season. One really fun way to stay connected and keep the fire burning amidst the madness is to introduce a remotely operated toy. You wear it, he controls it. Now, I get that this is probably only for the more adventurous souls out there but if you’re looking to add some spice to your holidays, this is a great way to do it. My fave for doing this is the We-Vibe Moxie, an app controlled panty vibe that he can direct. Ideas for using it ranges from wearing it to dinners (family or otherwise!) to you running upstairs for a quick “break” while he gets you off from downstairs. It’s a sexy secret for you two to share and there’s nothing much hotter than that.
The holidays can be an amazing time of celebration and joy. But it’s all too easy to loose the connection to our sex lives when we’re so busy eating and drinking and racing around. And the downside of that lost connection is huge. So this year, I’ll be plugging into my sex life instead of powering down. And while I still have a ton of items to cross off my Thanksgiving to-do list, you can bet that Lumberjack is on the very top of that list…and I’m going to have a grand ol’ time crossing that item off. 😉